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I'm studying on a humanistic counselling degree at a principled (but capitalist) institute academically underwritten by a standard capitalist University. While the intimacy of the class is powerfully nurturing, the written work I produce is entirely conformist and conforming. My power to engage fruitfully is hampered by polarities of radical authenticity and limited academic acceptability. However, through meaningful labour with others, I am, slowly, becoming.

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It's a strange one I think, this tension between 'becoming academic' and the process of learning as liberation (even if it's just a liberation from confusion). In terms of feeling conformist in our written work, some of that is part of the process of learning a language, I feel. There's also the fact that the tutors need a way for the students to 'show their understanding' in a way that can be acknowledged by the community of peers. In truth these things often get mistaken as ends rather than means, but as a means they can still have some value if we know what our own ends / goals are.

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